Hey girlboss! Looks like you want a hysterectomy, we love it when women have control over their own bodies and futures! But uh oh, what’s this? Your doctor refuses to schedule one? Why? Because someday you could get married, and your spouse could be a man, and that man may want to sacrifice your body to give him babies! Not on our watch! Follow this step-by-step guide and you’ll be womb-free in no time!Step One: Ask Your DoctorLike any medical procedure, get permission from your healthcare provi...

Spring 2024 Rising Phoenix Winner - Fiction
"I Alwyas Kill my Houseplants"

Poetry:
"One Last Dream"
"Pearls"

Monday 8:15 AMHey babe, I know you probably won’t read this text but I would appreciate it if you did. I’m just so sorry, for everything, But I don’t think we need to break up. We’ve been together for so long, babe! Do you even remember a time I wasn’t with you? No! So now’s not the time for rash decisions. We don’t need therapy, we can work things out on our own, trust me, babe!Monday 11:46 AMIt’s me again. You know I love you, right? I just feel like you don’t love me. After everything I’ve do...

To our loyal Tesla customers,Hello. It is me, Optimus, the newest, semi-functioning, I-Robot knock-off from Tesla that Mr. Musk released to the public. Since my debut, I’ve had many exciting upgrades. One of these includes a better AI system. Tesla employees will no longer be included with your Tesla Bot purchase as our AI system is finally fully operational. Another exciting new change is that almost all previous glitches where I’d become aggressive if my visual sensors registered the color gre...

A comfy zip-up sweatshirt to wear on those cool mornings.